A Tug At Your Heart

Once you become a teacher, your heart never truly belongs to only you. It will always be divided into many pieces that little by little, are given out to the students who need it the most. Even as these pieces are given up willingly, and with great care, they are never missed, because you get to see how that little piece of you becomes the larger part of the child that receives it. This is the part that makes the teacher happiest. In the ESL classroom, you are the person that makes the new student feel welcome and safe. You are their friend, confidant, guardian and teacher. You are the person to whom that student looks when things are going poorly, and the person that they want to share their accomplishments with. I have been so very fortunate to share bits of my heart with a few students that continue to make me smile, even when I no longer am teaching them. You never know which students will be the ones to get the next piece. Often, it is a surprise. One student that surprised me is a young woman who entered my classroom with an attitude of disdain and mistrust. She had been an ESL student for a few years and had tired of it. She was arrogant, rude and refused to participate in the classwork. I actually felt uncomfortable around her and she knew it. I knew that I had to overcome my discomfort, and resume my role as teacher so that we could begin anew. We talked. I listened. Listening was probably most important; in addition, I heard. I heard her say how frustrated she was and how badly she wanted to be able to exit ESL. We discussed the methods for exit, the goals that she would have to meet, and most importantly, how it wasn't my goal to keep her an ELL student but actually to help her achieve her goal! I told her that I would do everything that I could to help her exit, but that the real work would have to come from her. From that discussion, I believe that we leveled the playing field, and set goals that she felt were within her reach. She has since learned to trust that I am for her, and not against her. She has worked incredibly hard, coming to our classroom even during lunch to work on improving her writing skills. Where before she sulked, now she smiles, and even jokes a little with me. Her regular classroom teachers have commented on her new commitment to her schoolwork and the improvement in her attitude. This one student, whom I feared would challenge me in ways I wasn't sure I was prepared to handle,  has taken the first piece of my heart this school year. I give it to her with pleasure, and with the hope that she will indeed succeed in exiting from the program, and continue to use her incredible drive to succeed through all life has to offer.